Friday, November 7, 2008
It has been to long. Love speech time
Candice Marie Tavarez, The single greatest person on the planet. She is the girl that through thick and thin, can wear a smile on her face. She is the one that makes you feel her warmth from miles away. It is hard to explain how she has become the epitome of everything I ever wanted. The feeling is hard to explain. Waking up next to such an amazing person every morning, knowing that you get to hold them and kiss them. It makes you look forward to the next time you do. There can never be enough of that feeling, that warmth. Ya no one is perfect so there has to be some kind of disagreement. Yet she is the one that you can fight with, get it over with and wake up the next day in her arms. The sense of being embraced by arms that are so fragile, yet they can protect you from all the hurt in life. Candice is the girl that I can wake up to at 4 in the morning, Look over to see her laying there and wrap my arms around her and pull her close. Just to feel that feeling that you are holding everything that matters. A small kiss on the forehead and a hope to dream of her that night is what follows every time. Now I know some people will say that young people dont know what love is, Or that we may never understand true love. I can say that there are some things that I dont understand about our relationship. Like when she holds me close and whispers "I love you". The feeling in your heart is something I dont think anyone will ever understand. It is like someone is wrapping your heart in the most comfortable thing in the world and holding it to forever be warm and cherrished. You may say that I am out of my head and just rambeling on, but I'm not. I dont consider this romantic, or true love. It may develop to that but that is for the future and us to decide. I can however say that I for damn sure hope it does end up that way. I see it now as a more simple, fragile love. The complex love where you dont really know what you feel or why you feel it. Like when we are about to go to bed and I give her a kiss and say Goodnight, I love you. That feeling that you get in your stomach is just the beggining. Your mind starts to go crazy about how amazingly beautifull she is no matter what. How cute she is when she sleeps. About how soft her voice can seem in the hardest of times. The way that I want to hold her so close no matter what. The feeling of missing her even though you know I will see her in a few hours. The thoughts about how she is all I think about, And when she messes up or gets mad because you are playing, How cute she can be in those times. She is the girl I want to show my whole. The one I trust with my life and the life of those around me. She is more than what you would ussually hear out of some love poem or novel. She is to much to explain. The words with the greatest meanings are not enough. She is the girl that I want to just hug and squeeze her till she pops. She has the eyes that say a thousand words. I think I have found a girl I can give it all for, Go to the ends of the universe just to find her. Now I know she may take this an entirely different way, but that doesnt matter. The reason is because this is my feeling. I dont know how to write it. It may be written wrong, or even said wrong. But the fact is that I hold the feeling, And I will do everything I can to put that into action and show her how much she means to me. However this is not meant to rush anything. It will take time, but I think that is what it all means. The things we dont understand are what make us a great couple. The fact that we are so clueless in some feeling, yet we wait to find out what they mean to us. It may take a few days or even a few years, but that is the reason I will stand next to her no matter what and be proud to say I am hers and that she is mine. My eyes are fixed in tomorrow with her because right now and forever she makes me complete. I know tonight I will go to sleep and be thinking of her. She makes me smile in my sleep and wake up alive. Yet if I die I know its because of her that they can bury me with that smile. I just want to make sure she has the best time, all the time. I want to make sure she feels what I feel and knows the meaning or the unknown. This is to her. I know I am not that charming but I can try. I hope I am doing a good job, because this is me spilling my guts. Ill tuck you in when you get sick and make sure you feel okay soon. I will kiss you when you are fed up with everything around you and try to make it better. I know you might go away from this place, But its not to far. As much as I dont want you to leave I cant stop you. I know how it feels to want home, But my comfortable place is in your arms. If you go please bring that place back to me. You are the one that stop my thinking and makes me smile. You bring out the things I wouldnt say, like I love you and you are great. You deserve the world wrapped in gold. I always miss you even after the five minutes I am without you. I will hold you in the dark and kiss you under the warmth of the sun. It seems I can find something wrong with everything but you. You are something I will never forget. You are stuck in my heart everyday, forever. Without you I wouldn't want to do anything. So babe just get under this blanket and know that this can become everything I want to show you. Just sleep until you really want to leave. Once you do know that my heart goes with you. I love the thrill that you give it just by looking into your eyes. I will do all I can and make this work no matter what. You know all the things I could say about you being great. But I have said all I want to, The rest I will show you. All I need is your lips pressing against mine with the feeling of the sun on my back and the sand at my feet. Your hand can hold mine and we can become the picture of two tattooed lovers. For now I am sitting in an empty room missing you.I can only smile when I think of you today. I cant find the perfect words to fit your perfection. I dont know how you feel but I want you to show me. I have no place to go until I follow you to heaven when we die. Until then I will be beside you forever on and on. I hope you see that I know in a hard time you wont turn away from me. I am hurting to begin again. Next to you, in another place at a new time. We will answer that dream. We can push ourself through because no matter what all I need is you. I am fucked without you. This is not just a feeling, It has become a part of you. More than just a simple memory. We can lay and dream of better days. Or we can go to the car in the driveway and make our lives true. I know we both wish it was that simple, But fact is, it is. We convince ourself that its untrue. We run our lives and we can do whatever the fuck we want. There will be a day when they say, "off they went and I dont think they will be coming back again". You know that any amount of miles I will walk with or for you. You see sometime you break me and show me something new. I love that, The feeling of not knowing what to do. I just want you to learn the real me and I want to see the real you. When you told me you loved me you did me a favor. You showed me what I wanted in the mist of everything. All I wanted is someone to express everything good to. I think I have found her. I hope that I did, for if you are not it, then I dont know how this world could hold anything better. You see there is nothing I have seen that is greater than you. For everything I have seen that is better, You showed me and helped me learn. I cant say I have fallen in love with you, But I can say I am not scared to. You see, You took the heart out of me and gave it a reason. You destroyed all the bad feelings and showed me the best one that there is. Even all the fights and arguements, Those just turned to lessons and facts learned. They are the past. The future is ours and we have a plan. I think we have one choice, so lets make it. I have never really felt this love but I can see what I can do. Till the end my heart belongs to you.
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